Social Solo

Social Solo-Butterfly
The social solo-butterfly requires two things: self-confidence and drinking. Do not be fooled, quaffing of a draft will not assist in social awkwardness in a public situation. Let’s get into the thick of things: drinking by yourself can be done in a tasteful way where the roaming eye of patrons doesn’t target you. There are strict rules to drinking alone, a guideline has been provided.

1. Pick an acceptable time – just like capturing the rays of a summer’s sun, timing is everything. Lunch hours, after work, and before the witching hour are all acceptable drinking time slots.

2. Choose the watering hole wisely – you do not want to go to a bar that doesn’t cater to the solo-cup holder. If you are in a new city strategically case the bar area, this can be done by using the restroom first. Never under any circumstances tie yourself down with a drink before you lay an eye on the horizon. Be casual and survey the scene, then order.

3. Rule 2/3 are interchangeable and target the layout of the bar area. A key to solo drinking is picking a seat that doesn’t put you in the center of activity but also doesn’t summon you to the corner. Commit to a location near a TV or at an angle that you can take in more then one monitor. Engaging in the surroundings allows you to blend in and gives your eyes a point of reference.

4. Supplies are necessary – bring the following: (1) modified reading literature – if you are on a work related trip something to browse or lose your gaze in for a few moments…nothing exceedingly large or important should be brought to the bar stool. (2) a mobile device* – a blackberry or iphone is an acceptable accessory for checking a quick email and also following up on a news event/checking what time the game starts. (3) *do not use your mobile device whilst at the bar – it’s in poor form to carry on a conversation over thirty seconds at a bar. If they were really that interested they’d be drinking with you and, reverting back to rule 1, self confidence is key, you don’t want patrons to think you are using a crutch.

5. Do not, under any circumstances engage the bartender in a long, drawn out conversation. Bartenders are just that, tenders of the bar. They are not ‘stand-in’ friends or a resource to current events. Brief words and friendly accolades are fine but a discussion of importance should not be solicited.

6. Speaking to other bar patrons is touch-and-go, and based on situation and need, the people sitting next to you could be a source of entertainment. ByUrself’s general rule is to remain somewhat aloof, not looking or denying the commencement of conversation. Other solo drinkers are usually confident enough to at least acknowledge each others presence and can gauge approval rating.

7. If a solo patron begins acting rowdy, remove yourself from their presence. You do not want to be associated with the town drunk and a new bar/situation could put you at a disadvantage. You do not want to plague yourself with their problems so if this situation arises, move seats in a strategy to ‘better see the TV screen’ or move bars entirely.

8. While drinking alone, do not order a round of shots for the bartenders. This action will only solidify your need for approval and create skepticism. If someone offers you a drink however, feel free to take it in the name of humanity.

9. If you are in a foreign location, do not offend the local yocals by wearing your teams baseball hat and or jersey on their turf – unless of course you are looking for a fight. This rule is only relevant in tense cities such as Boston and New York. This rule also only applies if you are drinking solo. It may sound interesting to create a stir but if you are truly on a solo flight, it’s better to attract attention to yourself in a positive light.

10. “Joe from Canada” – number ten rule is key to a smooth solo experience. If you are from out of town, don’t feel compelled to tell everyone present that you are, “from out of town.” Also, avoid asking people around you if they, "know your friend from middle school that moved here…I think…what was his last name?"

So-Lo-Lo Sports

So-Lo..Lo..lo
A list of socially acceptable solo flights can be found below broken up into subcategories for ease of reference:

Sports: The following sports can be played and enjoyed by being your own best friend.

1. Golfing: Golfing is ByUrself’s number one pick for solo flight. If you are a good golfer you can expedite a round and play through, allowing you to focus on your game without being hindered by the ‘fores’. If you are new to the links it’s also a safe bet, cutting down on irate club-hubs. It doesn’t matter how many balls or swings you miss because no ones watching. In a loose survey taken by ByUrself, we’ve found that most golfers actually play better when not being sidelined. This may raise the question of how one measures themselves against other golfers? By height mostly... Naked lady tees, Callaway Clubs…be the ball Danny.

2. Miniature Golfing: A great way to hone your skills and show off in front of the masses. Choose your ball color wisely and begin with a few active stretching skills such as the windmill club swing and a few lunges. Appropriate dress is required; golf shorts and polo shirt are preferable. We’ve logged this under ‘sport’ hence flip flops should be reserved for the beach. We also suggest crokies as most putt-putt courses have a water hazard.

3. Bowling: This sport has fallen as a point of contention at ByUrself. If you own your own multi-colored bowling shoes and or bowling ball then we find it socially acceptable to take up an alley, dawn a glove, and roll the cannonball. If you’re a hurler we suggest staying away from bowling alleys or at the very least sharing a lane. Bowling attracts a discerning eye, unless you are playing with bumpers and or candlepin bowling it’s best to go with a group. As a caveat, bowling alleys have a dicey reputation. The lingering smell of disinfectant, second hand smoke, floor wax, beer, motor oil, popcorn and 1970’s orange carpeting sets the scene for scrutiny. Take heed when going it alone, and visit the bathroom before taking to the lanes.

4. Running: Running is a sport that should predominantly be done SOLO because of the many variables that factor into the activity. Strides, arm-flailing, gates, panting, speed, deceleration and acceleration around corners, and overall running style is to be enjoyed alone. If you are carrying on a conversation with your ‘running buddy’ then you are clearly not running to your full capacity. This also factors in the two-abreast rule. Most times when a couple is observed running together they are taking up the full sidewalk, not allowing for the average pedestrian. Another aggravating couple running maneuver is striding, whilst talking, in the street. Running in the street should only be done when running alone, (the only socially acceptable method) or during a road race. Running and or jogging, flanked by a posse leads to car accidents and perturbed citizens.

5. Racquet Sports: As a general rule, any racquet sport should be played with at least one other athlete. The exception to this rule is practicing ones serve and or using a backboard. Backboards located at public parks are a 50/50 depending on situation and park popularity. Do not go to a backboard and play against yourself clad in tennis whites and a headband/armband. This just solidifies your inability to play tennis and to find a suitable partner. If the only thing that's returning your weak forehand is a painted green piece of particle board, join a club and take a lesson. There's less shame in paying for a partner. If you're good, it is socially acceptable to practice your serve and do a few quick laps (do not trace the lines of a tennis court and or drill yourself in suicides). Also, if the courts are filling up and you're monopolizing the baseline solo, it's a poor play to continue. Do not, ever, reserve a court for the aforementioned purposes. If you're that good, you have friends that can whack it back. If not, get to the courts early in the morning or late in the evening...the balls are yellow for a reason.
Squash - Another favored racquet sport must also be played with at least one other athlete. It is however socially acceptable to practice one's squash game alone, as the point of the game is to hit it off the wall there's really no need in warming up with a partner. Hand-eye coordination can also benefit from solo swings...do not however, mutter to yourself over missed swings or lack of talent as courts are usually adjoining and voices, even a solo voice, carries in a stark square room.

6. Fishing - A fantastic leisure activity to do by yourself while enjoying the peaceful, serene landscape. Spinning rod or fly fishing can be enjoyed while contemplating life, love, and dinner. A perfect escape from the social norm of peer invaded sports, methodical casting acts as a human metronome for rejuvenation and inner peace. Beyond that, the beer* is more plentiful, the casts further and the fish...bigger. No matter age, race, or ability, fishing is the perfect sport to tie one on, solo.

7. Sailing - A sailor? Good man...Sailing can and is frequently done alone. There is a slight risk to sailing solo as a drowning factor comes into play, but as long as you've got a PFD (please note: 'personal' as in, intended for the use of one (1)) and the wind at your back, jib, tack and drink*.

*Drinking - you may observe that many of these entries include a reference to libation of some nature. This is not to say that one must be inebriated in order to seek solitude in sport, yet merely to offer the same luxury afforded to those social activities done within the confines of a group. Drinking in some sort of moderation, done alone, is acceptable and is often a steady pairing while engaging in sport.

8. Cycling or Biking, if you aren’t training for the Tour - Cycling/biking should be enjoyed alone. Like running, there are many elements that factor into a successful cycling experience and ‘others’ just don’t equal into the equation. If one chooses to ride with others it requires one of the biking parties to follow, leading to an awkward view and or pacing problems. Biking two abreast is also an issue as the general flow of traffic comes into play and the inevitable swerving towards and away from each others spokes can lead to accident. Riding a bicycle, whether it be for ones job (bike courier), general transportation needs (to work in times of recession), competition (Iron Man training), or recreation (bike trails/training) spokes is a solo sport.
In addition, it is never proper to ride a tandem bicycle alone. It should either be walked or carried to a location where one can find an appropriate partner. It is extremely gauche to ride solo with the back wheels spinning freely and seat unoccupied. See entry on Unicycle for more information on finding a one wheeled, mono seated ride.

9. Swimming - A fantastic source of exercise and strong in the solo division. Swimming requires no other individual for success and therefore weights in heavily on the So-Lo-lo Sports list. The act of swimming requires no speaking, listening, or human contact and can be done in a number of settings. Just make sure you choose a lane wisely if swimming in a communal lap pool so as not to interfere with this sports individual appeal. Pool, pond, ocean, lake, or loch, crawl, butterfly, breaststroke, sidestroke or dead mans float, swimming is a great recreational activity enjoyed with no hesitation...unless of course you can't swim.

10. Kayaking - If you've got a PFD, hop in or on, and start paddling. ByUrself endorses solo kayaking and believes that tandem kayaking (1) slows down mph, (2) severely limits range of discovery, (3) requires a larger turning radius, (4) requires another person to (i) carry the kayak to water and (ii) to paddle the kayak. It is also in the right to rent a kayak by ones self, and should not be broached with any hesitation.

11. Skiing - A perfect way to spend a wintry day in the great outdoors. So-Lo-lo Sports pick for best activity done in the presence of others. Skiing requires equipment and basic balancing skills. If there was a sport catered to the individual and group it would be skiing and often times it's more beneficiary to hit the cord alone. Lengthy lift lines can be circumnavigated and this is the one time in a pressure filled society that it's ok to actually be single. Hop on a lift, say 'Hey' and gaze at a perfect bluebird day. Solo moves allow for speed and quick turns...no pizza french fries holding you back equaling more runs and less lift time. Take to the mountains...you have been gone too long...

12. Equestrian Events - Although you technically need a horse to participate in an equestrian event, at least if you want to put in a decent showing that is...horseback riding can be done alone. It's a great way of reconnecting with days of yore and bringing it back to the basic connection of man and horse. It also requires less planning and more time in the saddle exploring open countryside, wooded trails and sand drenched beaches. If horseback riding in an arena, every mount appreciates solo time to cut, jump and canter without directing traffic.

13. Archery - Or, for the plebian, toxophilite is a great way to hone ones hand-eye coordination and focus on the target. Archery requires a bow, an arrow and a target. The sport is one of focus, determination, functioning arms and moderate to good visual range, ranking it in at #13 of pre-approved ByUrself So-lo...lo Sports. No one will bat an eye when they see you take up the powerful bow, nock the arrow, raise and draw the bow and take dead aim.

14. Cuesports - Billiards is a great sport to engage in by oneself as long as you are in the privacy of your own residence or there is no wait for a table at the pool hall. Solo play is critical in honing ones skills and perfecting the angles. A game rich in tradition and played widely throughout the world, a true pastime in all walks of life. Thomas Jefferson could even attest to the importance of a once illegal game, having a solid billiards game is crucial and practicing, even more so. Drill yourself and mix things up. Make sure you have at least one trick shot in your repertoire (the practicing of such should be done alone) because the better you are at pool the more lucrative you will become and the more girls you’ll attract. Country club or country watering hole – you don’t have to look hard to find the great felt equalizer.

Pre-Approved ByUrself Accolade

Self High Five, also loosely referred to as the 'mano-a-mano'(Spanish for 'hand-to-hand') is one of the most underappreciated forms of high five mostly because it is done in solitude and when a second party is unavailable. The ‘self-high-five’ is formed by raising one hand, right or left depending on ambidexterity above the head at a slightly acute angle. Once formed, the imposing hand waits for the slower rise of the alternate hand and both palms are met above the head. Done in a celebratory fashion when honoring one’s own accomplishments or narrowly escaping a misfortune; this gratifying sign can be observed in offices, driving, and in public when surrounded by strangers and or derelicts. There is no need for a second party and therefore it is always appropriate to engage in a ‘self high five’ because of its 100% committal/approval rating.

ByUrself

Welcome to ByUrself, a website that provides clear cut designations between socially acceptable activities to do by ones self and activities better suited for a side-kick/group.
ByUrself stands as a gauge for measuring actions and their regard within an audience.